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FICLET: To Ride a Unicorn

JL issued a challenge on The Den.  The challenge issued was "I don't want to adult today".  This was my response to the challenge.  No Neanderthals were hurt in the making of this ficlet.

Title: To Ride a Unicorn
Characters: Neanderthal and Wench
Series: none

The Wench sighed and laid her pencil down.  Well, it was more of a toss than a laying down.  She watched as the pencil hit the desk, bounced up and flew through the air.   Then she winced as it hit her Neanderthal who had just entered her office.   When the Neanderthal raised his eyebrow pointedly at her, the Wench apologized.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to throw the pencil at you.  I'm just a bit frustrated."

Neanderthal bent and picked up the offending pencil.  Holding it out, he waited until she stood up, walked around the desk and reached for it, and then he gave her a not too gentle swat. 

"I know, I know!  I could've put someone's eye out with it," Wench huffed stomping back to her chair.  "Sheesh, you sound like my 4th grade teacher!"

Wench quickly put her butt in the chair.  The look on Neanderthal's face spelled doom to her pert little nether cheeks.  Her butt clenched and her tummy tingled at the look she knew so well.  Yes, she was frustrated, nursing hurt feelings, and damn it, it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and she was stuck inside writing up reports for work.  She didn't want a spanking!  She didn't know what she wanted.  The only thing she knew for sure was that she didn't want to adult today.

She looked up when the Neanderthal placed his hairy knuckled fist on the desk and leaned over.  His grunts and growls held warning and loving concern.  Deciphering the language of her Neanderthal, the Wench tried to evade his question.  "I don't know.  Like I said, I'm just frustrated."

The growl that the Neanderthal let out sounded suspiciously like, "Do I need to spank it out of you?"

"No need to go all lethal and caveman on me," Wench assured him.  "It's just funny that when we are kids we can't wait to grow up and be an adult.  Then when we are adults, it's not like we thought it would be.  I guess I just don't want to adult today."

Questioning grunts came from the Neanderthal asking what she'd like to be.

Wench answered, "I don't know.  Maybe be a mermaid or a unicorn.  Anything but an adult."

With a wink and a smile, the Neanderthal emitted a sensual growl.

Giggling, the Wench said, "Yes, I know you have a horn you can give me.  And I like your horn and how you give it to me, but I promised I would have these reports done by Monday.  It's Sunday and I still need to write them."

With a sigh, the Wench turned back to the assessments she was scoring.  Work was a hard limit between them.  The Neanderthal didn't dictate when she could work or how much time was spent at work.  They both knew that sometimes work obligations were out of their control.

Suddenly her pencil was taken out of her hand.  Gasping she looked up and met Neanderthal's eyes. 
With a snarl and a grunt, the Neanderthal told her that the lunch he'd been making was ready to eat.  That was what he'd come in to tell her when her pencil had become a missile.  And they both knew that while work was not part of their discipline relationship, eating was at the top of the discipline list right now.

Wench knew if she didn't comply with his demand to come eat, her butt would definitely feel his caveman-like approach.  Standing up, she was quickly crowded between the desk and the broad back of her Neanderthal.

"What are you doing?" She asked perplexed.  "I can't move with you right there."

The Neanderthal let out a loud snort.

"Jump on your back?  I think I'm a bit old for a piggyback ride."

More snorts and a toss of his head, the Neanderthal explained he was a unicorn.

Wench collapsed on the chair in a fit of laugher.  "Since I can't be a unicorn, you'll be one for me?  I can ride my unicorn to lunch?"

Neanderthal turned and snorted once more.  Gently, he helped her stand on the chair and climb onto his back.  As she road her unicorn to the kitchen with her legs wrapped around his waist, Wench laid her head on his shoulder.  No, she couldn't be a unicorn today, but she could ride one for a little bit.  Work could wait an hour while they enjoyed their lunch together. 

On second thought, work could wait two hours, and after lunch she just might ride the unicorn's horn.   She'd have to go back to being an adult later, but for now, she'd enjoy the silliness that came with living with a Neanderthal.



  1. Looooooovvvvveeee Iiiiiiit!

    I have a tee shirt that says,
    Always be yourself...
    Unless you can be a unicorn
    Always be a Unicorn

    Great story, Dizzy! I'm with you. I don't want to adult today.


    1. Thank you so much, Snarks. I'm very glad you like this! I'd always rather be a unicorn!