Little Fantasies: Conflict, Julien's POV
Title: Little Fantasies: Conflict, Julien's POV
"Come on, my boy, lets get you fed and into bed," Alex said to Julien. It was late and Julien had just stepped in the door. He'd been working late most of the week and the exhaustion was wrapped around Julien like a heavy cloak.
"What? I just got home!" Julien grumbled.
"Yes, but I bet you haven't eaten all day and its after 9," Alex said.
Julien took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He loved it when Alex went all dominant on him. Most of the time. But at times like this, Julien needed to just relax and remember who he was.
At the top of his profession, Julien made life altering decisions everyday. He was the one people turned to when hard choices had to be made. If another employee had a problem, Julien was expected to find the solutions. At work, Julien was in a position of power.
Julien sometimes wondered if he had a split personality. He loved his job, loved the feeling he got from making the tough decisions. But when he got home, wanted to shed that mantle of power and give control over to Alex. Just sometimes, he needed a transition time. A time that let his mind and his body relax enough to just be himself.
"Yes, its late and yes, I've not eaten," Julien said slowly, not wanting to let Alex know how close he was to losing his fragile hold on his temper. "But I need to just unwind. I need to zone out a bit and relax. If I ate now, I'd just have an upset stomach and there's no way I could turn my mind off enough to sleep."
Alex looked at him. That calculating look that had Julien holding his breath in anticipation. "OK. I understand about needing to unwind after a long day," Alex finally agreed. "However, if there is any, and I do mean any at all, negativity that turns you from tired to hurt and upset, I will make decisions that you might not like. Do we understand each other?"
At Alex's tone, Julien's stomach started to tighten. Damn my traitorous body, Julien thought to himself. The words combined with the tone in Alex's voice always went straight to Julien's stomach. A strange mixture of arousal and not quite fear.
"Yes, Alex," Julien mocked. "We understand each other. Do you understand I'm not a child? I do know what I need."
Julien's stomach tightened even more when Alex raised both eyebrows and ducked his chin down to look at Julien in expectation. What did Alex expect? Well, he didn't expect Julien to snap at him and make his argument for him that Julien did need to get some rest.
"Sorry. You know, um, just wound up from work," Julien apologized.
"Yes, I do know. I also know how easily your feelings can be hurt when you are so tired. Are you sure you want to play online? Because I am sure I will step in if I feel its needed."
Julien swallowed, suddenly nervous. When Alex spoke so distinctly, enuciating each word clearly, that meant he was about to become dominant extraordinaire. And Alex stepping in was fun when Julien was in the right mood. He wasn't sure yet if he was in the right mood. There was no need to poke the bear if he wasn't sure of what he wanted.
"Um. Yeah. I'm sure," Julien stammered out.
"OK, then you go ahead and play a bit while I make a quick bite to eat. Grilled cheese sound good?" Alex asked.
"With tomato soup?" Julien asked. Comfort food was just what he needed and his Alex knew him well enough to know just what worked for him.
As Julien turned to get his laptop, Alex grabbed his arm and yanked him closer. Kissing him firmly on the forehead, and then he pulled back just enough to look directly into Julien's eyes. "Don't doubt me on this, Julien. And don't push me. I worry about you," Alex said seriously.
When Alex released him and went to the kitchen to make the late night dinner, Julien sighed deeply. Yes, Alex worried about him. And when Alex worried his dominance seemed to be more pronounced. Walking toward the couch and the waiting computer, Julien felt contentment settle in his heart. Chuckling silently to himself, Julien didn't know what the night would bring. His stomach was clenched in arousal at Alex's dominance and his heart was rejoicing at the calmness of his mind. Yes, there was conflict between his body and his mind at Alex's dominance, but no matter what the rest of the night held for them, Julien was content.