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Accepting Control

Here is a continuation of Ken and Jess. Please let me know what you all think. Thank you, beta, any mistakes are my own.

Warnings: some bad language.

Ken walked to the door of his workshop as he heard the truck pull into the driveway. He watched as Jess got out, slammed the door and strode to the house. Ken couldn't help but admire Jess's ass in his worn Levi's. He grabbed the bird feeder he had just finished and went to show Jess.

"Hey, Jess, I finished the bird feeder. Thought you might want to show me where you want it," Ken said, letting the screen door bang shut behind him. He found Jess in the kitchen, opening a bottle of beer. Ken held up the bird feeder as Jess turned to him.

"What the fuck is that?" Jess asked.

"It's the bird feeder you said you wanted."

"I wanted a simple bird feeder. You might as well have painted rainbows on it and added fucking glitter!"

Ken wasn't prepared for Jess to grab the bird feeder and fling it across the room. Both men were shocked into stillness as the feeder splintered against the wall. Ken wasn't still for long. He didn't spring into action, but stalked slowly toward his raging lover. Ken saw the shock in Jess's eyes as Jess looked at him. Ken didn't stop his approach until he was crowding his lover. He followed as Jess backed away. Ken continued his slow, determined pace even when Jess had backed into the wall. When Ken was as close to Jess as he could get without actually touching, he leaned in and said softly, "Get the paddle."

"Shit! Ken, I'm sorry."

"Good. Now, get the paddle."

"I didn't-I mean, you," Jess stuttered.

"This is it. You said you wanted me to take control when you didn't have any. So, go get the paddle."

Ken didn't move away as Jess was forced to slither by between Ken's solid frame and the wall. Ken wanted Jess to know that he was immoveable, that he was solid as a rock, physically as well as emotionally. Ken turned to watch as Jess walked out the kitchen door. He took a deep breath as he heard Jess climb the stairs to their bedroom. This was the first time that Jess hadn't asked or implied he wanted discipline, and it was the first time that Ken had told him to go get the paddle. Ken was a bit humbled that Jess was placing so much trust in him. He pulled himself out of his musing when he heard Jess coming back down the stairs. Ken watched Jess walk in, paddle in hand with his head hung low.

"Hold your head up. You chose your actions; you come to me with your head held high." Ken demanded. Ken saw Jess's head snap up. Jess held out the paddle as he came closer.

"No, you hold it until it's time."

"Time? It's not time now?" Jess asked.

"No, now we talk," Ken said. "Obviously you didn't like the bird feeder. Why not?"

"No, it was fine."

"You destroyed something I made because it was fine? That's bullshit!" Ken said.

"No, it was. It was good."

Ken watched Jess stroke the paddle as he talked, almost as if he was comforting himself. "Then why did you destroy it?"

"I didn't mean too."

"Of course you meant too. You knew it would break when you threw it,"

"I was angry, upset. I'm sorry. I just took it out on you." Jess's head bowed down again as if he were watching his hands run over the smooth wood of the paddle.

"Keep your head up. You look at me when we're talking," Ken ordered. "You threw the bird feeder because you were angry?" Ken waited until Jess nodded. "Why were you angry?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I know you spent a lot of time on it."

"Yes, I did. I don't want to hear apologies now. I want an explanation of why you did it. You'll be apologizing after I spank you. Now, why were you angry?"

"I was more upset than angry. I saw my dad today. He said some things."

"What things?"

"He just made some remarks. You know, about being gay."

"No, I don't know. What did he say?" Ken wanted to tell Jess to quit beating around the bush, but he suspected if he did Jess would clam up entirely.

"He just called me a pussy and wanted to know when I would man up."

"Just?" Ken questioned.


"You said he just called you a pussy. When you say just you are saying it like it didn't matter. Didn't that hurt you?"

"He's said worse," Jess admitted.

"And it hurts."

"Yes, damn it! It fucking hurts! He pisses me off. He will never accept me being gay!" Jess yelled.

"And because you're gay, in his mind you aren't a man?"


Ken saw the shame on Jess's face, and his heart broke for his boy. "Well, he's wrong. You are a man, a man who lost control, but most definitely a man. You told me that you wanted me to take control when you couldn't. I can't do that-"


"Don't interrupt me," Ken said and then continued. "I can't take control, but I can help you appease your guilt when you do lose control. I think that's what you really want."

"Yes," Jess admitted.

"You are a man, and you should control your emotions better. I'm not saying you can't have emotions, that you can't be angry or upset, but you can't let anger control you. When your emotions control you, you end up despising yourself," Ken saw Jess nod. "So, I will paddle you hard enough that you will be able to forgive yourself for losing control. Then, you and I will go out to the workshop and make another bird feeder together."

Ken looked at Jess and saw acceptance. He wasn't sure if Jess would accept the next part. Ken wanted to keep discipline and play separate, and the only way he could think to do that would be to have discipline in one room only. They could play in any room, but Ken knew they would use the bedroom the most. Ken thought for a moment and decided the kitchen would be reserved for punishment spankings.

The sturdy wood chairs would take both of their weights and give enough room for Ken to swing a paddle. Also the almost bare walls and the tile on the floor would let the sound reverberate; giving the illusion of a harsher than reality spanking.

"Take off your jeans and boxers," Ken said walking to the window above the sink and shutting the blinds.


"Yes. When either one of us decide discipline is needed, that discipline will be handled here. You still want spankings as play, and so do I. But I want a clear distinction between the two."

"Why? I don't want to be bare-assed in the kitchen!"

"You'll see. And remember, I'm taking the control now; not you. You let me know what you wanted when you went for the paddle; the rest is up to me."

Ken pulled out a chair, turning it so the back was to the table. He watched as Jess awkwardly took off his pants and underwear. Ken sat, settling his hips in the back of the chair. Jess was a big man; Ken wanted to make sure that Jess was secure over his lap. He looked up at Jess and gestured to his side. "Come on over here, I need you on my right side."

When Jess was in the right position, Ken took the paddle from Jess's hand. He then placed his hand in the small of Jess's back, helping him over his lap. "Don't try to hold yourself up with your fingertips, lean on your forearms for support."

Once Jess was situated to Ken's satisfaction, Ken reached around Jess's waist with one hand, holding him close and laid the paddle on Jess's ass. "There won't be a warm up. This will be just enough for you to let go of your guilt."

With that statement, Ken lifted the paddle and brought it down. He heard Jess grunt and swung the paddle again. Ken continued to bring the paddle down with some force. He didn't spank in any particular pattern, but made sure the entire area was hot and glowing red. When Jess started to hold his breath to keep from grunting, Ken accused, "You're holding back, boy. You're keeping it in. Let it go and we can be finished."

Ken put an extra bit of weight into the next blow of the paddle and heard the breath Jess had been holding whoosh out. A couple more and Ken heard Jess whispering his apologies.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Sorry."

Ken twisted and laid the paddle on the table. Straightening back around, Ken rubbed his hand up and down Jess's back. As Ken saw the muscles rippling he applied more pressure, rubbing the tension, shame and guilt out of Jess. "Now, I accept your apology."

Ken felt the full weight of his lover at that declaration. He knew Jess had let go of his guilt, as completely as he had given up his control to Ken. "Come on, get up. Put your clothes on."

As the simple, direct orders were given, Ken saw how natural Jess responded to them. "You're good now."

"Yeah, I am," Jess agreed. "Why did you decide on the kitchen for the spanking?"

"Did that paddling feel like play? Are you aroused?" Ken asked and saw the light dawn on Jess's face.

"Keeping it separate; I get it now."

"Is the guilt gone?" Ken wanted to know.

"I still feel bad about it, but yeah, the guilt is gone."

"Then let's go build a bird feeder," Ken said and Jess smiled.


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