Wants and Needs

Ken leaned against the door and watched Jess as he used the band saw. The sun hadn't yet risen, and the stark light bulb hanging from the ceiling kept him enclosed in darkness, yet encircled Jess in a halo of light. He knew what was bothering Jess, but he'd hoped that Jess would come to him and talk about it.

Ken waited until Jess had cut the wood and the band saw had quieted before he said, "You're up early."

He was glad he'd waited until Jess's hands were clear of the blade as he saw Jess startle at his voice.

"Um, yeah. I just wanted to get these pieces measured out for your kids' next project," Jess said defensively.

"And four in the morning is a perfect time to do it," Ken agreed. Ken watched as Jess slammed the wood down.

Jess turned and snarled, "Well, if I didn't have to go play happy family today, I wouldn't have to do it so early."

Ken knew that this was the issue, but he wasn't going to let Jess hide from his own decisions. "You had the choice," Ken said in a hard voice. "I didn't make the decision for you. That's not how we work."

"Fine, then I'm not going," Jess snapped.

Ken had a feeling that Jess was trying to box him in. He was not going to allow that to happen. Folding his arms across his chest, he said one word, "Jess."

"Fuck!" Jess exploded. "When I said I would go to this barbeque it seemed so far off, and like I could handle it."

"Why can't you handle it now?" Ken asked.

"Their parents are going to be there! Judging every fucking thing! How the fuck am I supposed to act?"

"Act?" Ken asked. "You don't act at all; just be yourself. Well, except you might not want to use fuck every other word. That tends to piss moms off."

Ken watched as Jess leaned over and switched the saw off. "Jess, I was upfront with you. I told you this was going to be a big barbeque. We talked about it and you said you wanted to go. We can't cancel today. That would be rude, and you damn well know it."

"I am rude! And I piss people off! That's why I shouldn't go!" Jess half shouted.

"So, you are saying what? That you're not a good person? Because you know how I feel about that."

"Shit," Jess muttered.

Ken watched in disbelief as Jess strode toward the door. "Jess," he said in a low voice. "Don't you walk away in the middle of a conversation."

Jess turned and looked at him, "I'll be back. I'm just going to get the fucking paddle. I've been here before; I know what tools you'll need."

Ken held his laughter until he was sure Jess was in the house. Jess did know what tools were needed for these kinds of talks; although the paddle helped Jess more than it helped Ken.

Ken entered the kitchen the same time as Jess came striding in with the paddle in his hand. Ken quirked an eyebrow as he watched Jess lay the paddle on the table, undo his pants and push them down. Jess quickly placed his hands on the table. Ken had to admire the beautiful view Jess was giving him.

"I need…want, this today," he heard Jess mumble.

"Need or want?" Ken asked.

"Does it matter? Either way, every time I sit down today, I want to feel this…you," Jess said then turned and met his eyes.

Ken stared into Jess's eyes, thinking hard over needs and wants. Did it matter? What was the difference between want and need? This was the first time that Jess had acknowledged his self destructive comments and had taken steps of his own to stop himself.

Jess could always ask for what he desired, but ultimately they both knew it was Ken's decision. Jess was asking for this today, not only to acknowledge that he'd once again fallen into the habit of criticizing himself, but also because Jess knew that it would give him that reminder that he was not alone. Is that a need or a want? Ken took a deep breath and thought, hell it works for us, why try and analyze it?

Picking up the paddle, Ken smiled at Jess and said, "No, it doesn't matter a bit. It works for us. It is what it is."

The paddling didn't take long, but Ken made each swat count. Jess would feel the effects of the paddle most of the day. Ken wanted Jess to feel him in another way too. Once he was sure Jess would feel the results all day, he said, "That'll do. Now, strip the rest of the way. I want you to feel me today too."

Ken quickly went and retrieved the tube of lube they had in the little half bath off the kitchen. Coming back into the kitchen, he saw the blaze of lust coming from Jess's eyes. He knew Jess wanted it the same way he did, a good round of fucking. Love making would come later tonight, but for now, both men wanted down and dirty.

Pouring some lube on his fingers, Ken caressed Jess's red ass. "I can't wait to sink into you."

Jess jutted his ass out, inviting Ken's fingers to enter and open him up making the small entrance large enough to take Ken inside him.

Ken worked his fingers inside Jess, scissoring them, opening him. Once he felt Jess was open enough for him, he unzipped his pants and pulled his penis out. Pressing into Jess, he heard Jess hiss as Ken's rough jeans brushed across his red, tender ass.

Ken groaned as he felt Jess's muscles contract and loosen, struggling a bit to take him all the way in. When Jess wiggled, moved his feet further apart, and grunted out loud, Ken knew that he was feeling the burn of being stretched.

Once Ken was fully seated inside Jess, he stopped and allowed Jess's body to accommodate him. Ken reached around and took Jess in his hand and pumped him slowly. He felt Jess relax and take him in even further. His grip became firmer as he pumped faster. Jess was so far gone, it only took a few more seconds and he spurted on Ken's hands.

Ken pulled back and eased back in, then, feeling how open Jess was, pulled out and slammed back into him. Ken couldn't hold back and soon was groaning out his own release.

Once Ken was able to catch his breath, he stroked one hand down Jess's back. "Let's go back to bed. We can get a couple more hours sleep."

"God, yes," Jess mumbled thankfully.

Ken couldn't contain his grin as he followed Jess down the hall. Jess was walking unsteadily and once he got to the bedroom, he flopped face down onto the bed. Ken climbed in beside him. The events of the morning had exhausted both men.

Later, as they drove up to the group home, Ken saw Kevin ready and waiting on the front porch. "Hey Kev, you ready?" He called out the window as he parked the truck.

Ken studied Kevin closely as the teenager ran up to the truck. All physical traces of the abuse he'd suffered at his father's hands were gone. Ken knew the mental scars were still there but at least today he looked like a typical teenager, excited about going to a barbeque on a beautiful Saturday.

Getting into the back seat of the extended cab truck, Kevin grinned at Ken. "Yeah, I'm ready. A little nervous to meet all these people. I don't know half of them. What if I say the wrong thing?"

Ken laughed out loud as Jess turned and said to Kevin, "I've been told fuck is probably the wrong thing to say. As long as you leave out that word, you'll be ok."

Ken put the truck in gear and drove off, knowing that his little family was going to be all right.