Pairing: Reed/William Implements: hand Type: slash Series: Navigating the World and Relationships Part 9 Reed slid the pan of fried chicken to the back burner, knowing that the dinner was ruined after sitting in grease for so long. Reed hadn't addressed William's ever increasing working hours but knew that they would have to have a discussion and soon. Each evening William was working later and later hours, coming home exhausted and snapping at the slightest remark. Reed understood that all the changes in William's life had been hard on him. William had been on his own and independent, so the move into the apartment with Reed was understandably difficult. William had left his own very organized apartment and had made many concessions. William had to learn how to integrate his life with Reed. Work had not been a boundary that they had discussed. William had been working at the bank for five years and was comfortable in his position as the technology technician. William could make a computer sing while many people fought to find the power switch. The change to disability director for the bank's head office had been exciting for William, but Reed was seeing how the pressure was starting to affect William. As well as coming home later, William was snapping at any comment that Reed made, and despite how exhausted William appeared to be, Reed knew that William wasn't sleeping well. A loud crash outside the door broke Reed out of his musings. He rushed straight to the door. The sight that greeted him strengthened his belief that work was about to become a boundary. William was crouched down, trying to gather a multitude of files with one hand, while trying to hold the bottom of his cane in his other hand. "Here let me help," Reed said. "Damn it, I don't need your help! I can actually pick up my own mess!" William snapped out. "Pardon me." Reed knew that William could all but feel the ice dripping off his voice. Reed hoped that William wasn't too far gone to heed his subtle warning. "I said I don't need your help." Reed was not going to let this go any further. He reached down and took William by the arm, helping him rather firmly to his feet. "Yes, at this point, you do. I'll pick up these files, you go on inside." Reed knelt and started gathering up the dropped files. When he noticed that William was just standing, a stern, "MOVE" got William mobile. Reed gathered the papers and files, deposited them on the kitchen table, and turned to look at William. William looked awful, he was pale with dark circles under his eyes, and the tension was visible in the high set of his shoulders. "Go shower; change into something more comfortable; I'll order take out," Reed gave his orders in simple, clear cut directions. He wanted William to wash away his professional image, to be just William. Reed watched as William turned without a word and walked into the bathroom. When William returned, Reed could see that the shower had helped some, but with the first words out of William's mouth, Reed knew that the shower had not washed away the stress. "Where did you put my files? I have to reorganize them now." "William, its nine o'clock on a Friday night, work is over for the day. I've ordered dinner; we are going to eat, and then we are going to relax for little while." "No, work isn't over! I have to get the files back in order. Thank God, I had the foresight to label them, or I wouldn't be able to. That's a couple more hours of work this weekend that I didn't count on, and it's all your fault!" Reed had heard enough; he knew that William was beyond listening to reason. Reed again took William by the arm and laid a resounding swat to his backside, then another, and another. Reed felt William jump a little more as more force was used with each swat. "Work and the tantrums are over," Reed's voice was soft in stark contrast to William's loud, out of control voice. "Make yourself comfortable in your corner; you will be there awhile. I want you to think about how your homecoming has been." Reed watched William walk to his corner. By the set of William's shoulders, Reed could tell that William was thinking about the files, not how his attitude had been. Reed walked over and gave another swat to William's backside. "I don't want you thinking about work; I want you thinking about why you are in the corner; your attitude since coming home, and how you've been talking to me." When William laid his head in the seam of the corner, Reed knew that William was finally thinking more coherently. He wasn't wrapped up in all that he had to do for work; William was finally making the connection that he was home. Reed saw William start to gather himself when the doorbell chimed, signaling their dinner's arrival. "No, you stay there and keep thinking. I'll set dinner aside, you are too important for me to let this go." Reed opened the door, allowing the door to shield his brat, paid the delivery boy, and closed and locked the door. "Did he look at me funny?"William asked, embarrassment lacing his voice. "No, William, I would never shame you that way. The door blocked his view of the room; he didn't see you," Reed assured him. "You can stay in there until I tell you to come out." Reed gathered the files that had been laid on the table, putting them on William's desk, keeping an eye on William's posture. Once the table had been set and the Chinese food unpacked, Reed called to William, "Come on in and eat." Dinner was a quiet affair. Reed wanted William to eat without getting worked up again. As they ate, Reed could see the tiredness coming off of William in waves. Once dinner was eaten, Reed said, "Leave your dishes and go on to bed. I'll be right in." "Reed, I really do need to get those files together. I was going to convert them to Word documents tomorrow to do that I need them in order," William's voice was quieter than it had been all night. Reed didn't know if it was the exhaustion or if William was trying to be more polite. "We'll discuss that in the morning. For now, you need to just let go, and let me make the decisions. Go to bed; I'll be there in a minute," Reed said. William was sleeping when Reed got into bed a few minutes later, but Reed could tell it was not a deep sleep. All night, William tossed and turned, until at one point Reed gathered him into his arms and held him tight, offering comfort to him in his sleep. After taking William in his arms, William had seemed to settle into a deeper, refreshing sleep. The next morning, Reed slipped quietly from the bed. Reed knew that the discussion coming up would put William on the defensive, but Reed was determined to get William to open up and talk to him. Reed took a soft breakfast of tea and toast into the bedroom when he heard William stirring. Reed wanted to direct the day as discreetly as possible but still maintain control. "No, don't get up," Reed told William. "I brought you breakfast in bed." "Thanks, but I don't want anything heavy." "I thought you wouldn't; that's why it's only tea and toast." Reed set the tray on the nightstand, and scooting William's legs over sat down. Reed knew he was blocking William's chance to get out of bed with any grace. "You still look tired," Reed said. "No, I slept good last night for a change." "For a change? Have you not been sleeping well?" Reed questioned, already knowing the answer, but wanting William to tell him. "Oh, well, you know how it is," William evaded. "No, William, I don't know how it is. And you won't tell me. This has become the continuing theme in our relationship. You don't talk to me. You don't tell me when something's bothering you. You try to pretend that everything is all good, or that you can handle it. That's not what this relationship is about. And I think you know that." Reed watched the blush creep up William's neck to his face and knew he was right. William did understand. Reed patted William's leg and said, "Once you're done with your toast, I don't want you to get dressed. I want you to come on into the living room. We have a lot to talk about." Reed heard William sigh as he walked out of the room. Reed wanted to give William a chance to gather his thoughts, hoping that he would talk to him about the things that were stressing him. Reed watched William slowly navigate to the couch where he was sitting. When William sat down in the corner of the couch, Reed pulled him closer, not letting his defensive body language set in. "Talk to me, William. You are keeping everything bottled up. This is the core of our relationship," Reed encouraged. "I don't keep everything bottled up! I tell you things!" And here comes the defensiveness Reed thought. "William, you don't tell me about things that really matter. You tell me work is fine, the move has been fine, the conference was fine. You aren't telling me how you feel. You aren't telling me what is getting you so worked up." "Work is fine; the conference was fine!" "That's not telling me anything. William you are losing sleep, you are working later and later. Things are not fine." "I don't know! I don't know what to say! By the end of the day I don't want to think about it all. I just want to relax! You can't make me talk to you, especially when I don't know what to say!" William sounded lost. "You're right. I can't make you talk to me. But I can help you learn to talk to me. And I can help you learn to relax. Here at home, all you have to do is listen to me. I'll take care of you; you don't have to make any decisions. You can relax. You can let go. You've said you trusted me, so show me that trust." "I do trust you, but I don't know what to say! By the time I get home, everything is jumbled up in my mind, and I just don't want to deal with it all," William confessed. "That's my role. You don't have to deal with it all; we share our burdens. I'm going to help you learn to talk to me." "What, are you going to spank me to get me to talk?" William asked incredulous. "No, but I will spank you if I see another tantrum like last night," Reed promised and saw the flush of shame on William's face. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." "Yes, I acted horrible." "Yes, you did," Reed said, not letting William get away with his actions. "But I think that stems from you not talking to me. So, here's what we are going to do. Every night, you will be home by six. No excuses. The bank closes at five that gives you a half an hour to work over and a half an hour to get home. Once you are home, we are going to sit at the table and talk. Really talk, not just the "everything's fine" comments. We will sit together at the table for a half an hour talking." "I told you, I don't know what to say!" "You will. Let me finish. Today, you will start a file on your computer; label it whatever you want, but each and every time something happens that upsets you or makes you happy, you will open the file and type in what happened. That way when you get home, you will have a day's worth of events to tell me about," Reed explained. "I expect at least three things each day. The file can be about work, home, lunch out, anything that you want. We will expand as we go along." "For how long?" William asked. "No time limit. This isn't punishment; this is a way to help you. A way to help us communicate as a couple. I can't read your mind, and you aren't talking to me. You said your thoughts get all jumbled. I understand that. I also understand that you've not allowed yourself to talk to anyone. This is a way for you to organize your thoughts throughout the day." "Kind of like keeping a journal, huh? I can do that," William said, thoughtfully. "But I don't think I can leave work at six every night. Reed, you have no idea of all that this entails. I'm trying to learn all the federal regulations. And I'm trying to write overall objectives for the employees that have disabilities!" "You can do that between eight in the morning and six at night. At six oh one, you should be in our home. I will come and get you," Reed warned. "What if I call first?" William asked. "Sure, you can call. I'll tell you "no" but you can call." Reed said. "William, we are spending less time together since you moved in then before. Our relationship has to come first." "I have to finish those files this weekend." "Who says you have to finish those files?" Reed questioned William. "I do. I say I have to! This is a new position for the bank, one that they need but they haven't had before. I have to have everything perfect!" "No you don't. They don't expect perfection and neither do I. But I will compromise. Tomorrow I'll help you get the files organized, then I'll take half, you take half and we can enter them into our computers. Once I'm done with my half, we can save them on a flash drive, and you can download them onto your computer. I understand that you will sometimes have to work on weekends, I do too. But we will make an agreement; one weekend a month for work, the other three for us." "Ok, but why tomorrow? Let's do them now." "No. You're still tired, and you are going to spend the day in bed," Reed said. "I don't want to spend the day in bed alone!" Reed stood up, pulling William into his arms. Before his lips captured William's, Reed murmured, "Who said anything about you being alone?" TBC
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